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It Ain't Easy Being Indian
It Ain't Easy Being Indian
Friday, January 09 2015
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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ricey wild.jpgAfter the last bite of pie was swallowed, after the leftovers were doled out, after the family had a wonderful time together eating a magnificent dinner of tender turkey and scrumptious sides, after hugs were exchanged and many kisses given, after pictures and “selfies” were digitized, after everyone else left to go beach themselves in the privacy of their own homes to freely boogit, after all that food and love three of us sat at Gramma Rose’s house, two of us just about to leave.

My Unk Koon, Gramma and I had a silent moment of ahhhhhh!!! Just being happy and satiated and secretly relieved there was no family dispute whatsoever and I think we all heaved a deep, grateful sigh of relief. Then we burped.

That moment of silence triggered something in Rose’s head. She turned to me and asked, “Are you related to (name withheld on my dad’s side)” and I said yes, but I thought he was dead? Rose handed me a newspaper cut-out from The Big City and it read, “Career Criminal Strikes Again” or something very like that. I looked at my Gram and she had a inquisitive expression on her face. I laughed and read on.


It Ain't Easy Being Indian
Saturday, November 01 2014
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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ricey wild.jpgAs Rezberry’s Graves Registrar I work to help people find a burial site in the cemetery for their deceased family members. Then their names are entered into what I call “The Book of the Dead.” No pun intended, it ain’t easy but someone’s got to do it.

There are some months that go by with no deaths at all and then there are times like this past month when quite a few people passed on. I send the family’s my condolences and my heartfelt sorrow for their loss. Recently a married couple contacted me and wanted information about reserving a spot where they can be by each other and his mother. They told me that after all the deaths recently it came to their attention to have things in order when that day will inevitably come.

I think it’s a wonderful idea, to pick out a spot but most people are kind of spooked by that idea. I’m not; in fact it makes sense to me so I’m gonna write up a “will” if you will and write my own obituary. That said, here I go.

The announcement will be “Kristine E. Shotley AKA Ricey Wild is Dead.” That’s it! Well that’s my first idea but if I must go into further detail I will. Ahem!!!

 


It Ain't Easy Being Indian
Saturday, October 11 2014
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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ricey wild.jpgI’m so excited about Halloween! It’s the only time I can wear my kitty-cat ears in public, but I’m thinking this year I want to get painted up as a sugar skull. Yes, I have very important things on my agenda. More than that I’m over the moon that my life doesn’t suck right now. Sad as it is, if you have never suffered you don’t know what life’s blessings really are. Enjoy the good times my dear ones, enjoy!

Last month I shared a poopy story and I have another one but I’m not the poopetrator this time. I walked out to my mailbox and toward the end of my driveway was a huge pile of a dark substance that looked like poop with popcorn kernels in it. Upon closer inspection on the way back (no stack of checks to cash, hai!) I saw the seeds must be berries. I told my co-worker Chuck about it and he said, “Bear poop!” which is exactly the conclusion I came to. So, if you get a question on your test “Do bears poop in the woods?” The answer is not always. That bear didn’t make it behind a tree either.

Whenever Indians get together of course we ask who the other is related to and a lot of times it’s oneself; another long-lost cousin. Another favorite topic is ‘poor stories’ and my brother Mike W. has a doozy! He said his house was broken into but the thieves didn’t take anything! Of course I laughed at how pitiful that was and said they could have left you a five dollar bill at least for a new lock. Then Mike said, “Now here’s the kicker! All three of my guitars were pawned so they were safe.” I know, right?

 

It Ain't Easy Being Indian
Monday, September 08 2014
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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ricey wild.jpgIf you are a regular reader of this column you must be familiar with my one of my major rants; the Bering Strait Theory. Yeah, I become an absolute monster spewing rage and fury anytime I come across that lie. I wrote some years ago how the white man’s own technology would prove what Indians of Native nations have said all along, that we were put here by the Creator as were the animals, waters and vegetation that truly is all we need to thrive here on Turtle Island.

So when I read that an arrowhead AND a mastodon skull were found close to each other off the coast of Chesapeake Bay I was all excited. Dang!!! We had some badass ancestors hah?! Eating mastodon steaks and all! My imagination is boggled by the idea of hunting mastodons but hey they found a way to hunt them cuz an Indian’s gotta eat right? More articles have also come out recently that we Indians of the Americas are genetically similar and very different from other people who migrated out from Africa.

TAKE THAT and roll it up in a bun you naysayers!!! Jeez I’m smiling just big as I write this.

There is also growing evidence that people can also inherit traumatic memories in their gene sequence and I believe that. I also believe that we, the descendants of the few who were left after the U.S. genocide are stronger because we have to be. BTW, I know some very strong women on Facebook who are organizing and yeah yooz better Wacha!!! Women will be the ones to pick up the ugly mess made by 21st Century idiots and those with their head stuck in the sand regarding climate change and dependence on fossil fuels.


It Ain't Easy Being Indian
Thursday, August 07 2014
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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ricey wild.jpgIn another dazzling display of culturally entrenched racism against the First Peoples of Turtle Island Ted Nugent called us “Unclean vermin” who “don’t qualify as people.” He went on to say that there is a lunatic fringe of hateful, rotten, dishonest people that hate happy, successful people. Wow. Then there’s wannabe president Michele Bachman who has a great idea for the Central American children, who seek refuge and a new, better life than their war-torn homicidal country’s can give them. Put them in labor camps says Bachman, then they learn American, work and everybody wins. *choke* SNORT! What?

In the case of Nugent I am the first person to speak up for freedom of speech but that works both ways Teddy boy. You are a vile, stinking, poisonous mass of diarrhea, a hypocritical blowhard who was very willing to take money from unclean vermin who don’t qualify as people. Well money talks but so do disgusting jerks. ‘Nuff about that cesspool of hatred.

Now for Mrs. Bachman; just when I think she can’t possibly say nor do anything to top her already despicable actions she does it again. History would truly repeat itself were this inhuman scheme come to be. Indian boarding schools and the inexplicable horrors that happened to children away from their families are still very much a part of our culture, one we are trying desperately to change. The U.S. agenda to wipe us out completely failed so they killed the Indian to save the man. We were being trained in white man ways to enter indentured servitude and supposed to be grateful for it. Now Bachman would impose that on thousands more little brown children.


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