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It Ain't Easy Being Indian
It ain't easy being Indian
Thursday, October 29 2009
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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Way back in the olden days when I was but a wee girl I watched a Dracula movie starring Bela Lugosi. I was traumatized, totally. That night and many years of nights thereafter I bunched my blankets up around my neck before being able to sleep so a vampire would have a pretty tough time trying to suck up my blood. It must have worked since I haven’t melted in direct sunlight ...yet.

The reason I bring that story up is at a recent Rezberry Open Meeting people were calling for blood, and lots of it. A whole lot of enrolled Rezberrians’ blood was illegally drained from them and they want it back.
CinderCat is a killer Cat!
Tuesday, August 25 2009
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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CinderCat is a Killer cat. Fortunately for my household, aka my wigwam’s inhabitants, our food caches are not yet empty (thank you USDA).

Despite that, CinderCat, whom I accidentally adopted six years ago, proudly dragged home some game meat in his fangs. In this case it was a scrawny little chipmunk. Apparently he thinks all we need is more nutritious rodential diversity to achieve a healthy, balanced diet. His current available cuisine is either too dry and crunchy which is unsatisfying, and the canned stuff, though delicious, is ‘processed beyond recognition as actual acceptable consumable nutrition’, his words.

Yet, Cinder unrepentantly loves his ‘dollops’, which is milk-ishy half and half, but "hey"! Everyone has their weakness. Mine is buckets of Popeye’s red beans and rice. And then there’s...well I have only so much space. 

It aint easy being indian
Friday, July 24 2009
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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I just have to share a very spooky moment I recently experienced. It was morning, I absent-ly looked in to my hall mirror and saw Kim Jong-II, big as life. He had red, beady eyes, with dark shadows as if he were ill and his hair stood straight up, real scary-like. What was the North Korean dictator doing, showing up in my mirror? His eyes widened and he squeaked something unintelligible. I don’t know Korean. Then I focused. The image in the mirror was...me!

Moi. Ricey Wild. I looked like the taller twin sister of Kim Jong-II, sans coke bottle glasses. It is very difficult for me to communicate my utter shock and horror at my reflection. I would have passed out had I not begun to laugh and laugh. I laughed so long and so hard I was gasping, almost gagging, for breath.
It’s a good thing I have a highly developed sense of humor. And irony? My mirror used to be my friend. But like some friends do, it turned on me – viciously pointing out all my faults and shortcomings in glaring detail.

It Aint Easy being indian
Tuesday, May 05 2009
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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Picture this: it’s the mid-80s, a summer day during former President Ray-Gun’s Star Wars administration. My mom Omi is walking back with her niece after visiting some mutual friends. One of those Indians gave my cuz’ a 5 pound block of commod cheese, which she carefully tucked under her arm. Omi became peckish, and she knew that her niece always carried a knife, so she asked her to ‘cut her a slice of that cheese’.  “What?!!” sez the neice, aghast, “I know you have cheese at home!” True story. 

Like I have written about many times prior to this I am a news junkie: I HAVE TO KNOW! Sadly though, these days one cannot run or hide from bad news. The recession, AIG, home foreclosures, global warming, pandemic diseases and everything miserable connected to it. What is one to do? Well, the way I see it, we will do what Native People have always done, which is not just endure - but survive and even thrive. Even since our uninvited, ungrateful guests showed up on Turtle Island.

I sure hope real estate opens up on Mars real quick-like. Go. Please. Ya’ll have done enough here, really. You ask me, we’ve been in a recession since oh, 1492 when a Halliburton employee of Dick Cheney’s, named Christopher Columbus accidentally ‘discovered’ the New World. I know. I do wish we had had the foresight to see and stop the attempted genocide and destruction that would happen to our Native Nations, but noooo! We had to go and be hospitable, offer the Pink People from across the sea a warm meal and a soft bed. But that’s how we Natives’ generally roll, if I may say so.
It’s in our human nature. Our culture and religion tells us that this is the right thing to do: to give unconditionally, to help as much as we can in the circumstances and to take care of one another. That’s how we got this far. (Dang! Why so serious Mz Wild? Ay) Hay! Serious times call for serious words.

Yeah I think so, but yanno what else? In spite of the misfortune and heartbreak I have experienced thus far in my life, I am a lucky woman. Me and the Mitz (my foofy, ferocious puppy) were commiserating the other day. The weather was all icky, I had no money, no gas and I can’t afford satellite so I could not watch some of my favorite TV shows. God I miss Sponge Bob and Animal Planet.

Anyhoo, I looked around and everyone in the house was comfortably warm, my cats’ Horus, CinderCat, Nefernefernefer, Mitzi the pup and Marty, the fly. We all had something to eat. We have each other. I was humbled beyond expression. I spoke to my Gramma Rose soon after, and we both sorta complained about the weather, money, etc. Then I told her what I told The Mitz: we are so very fortunate and need to recognize it!

Yanno what? I could so indulge in chocolate silken luxury, dive into sensual sensations and live an unapologetically mondo wealthy life. However, I can totally tell anyone who wants to listen, that obscene riches is not what our collective life experience is supposed to be about. At least that’s what I tell myself. Ask yerself? What will you leave and take with you when you go?

I know this is stupendously irrational and narcissistic, but somehow, I feel personally responsible that Cheney, Bush and their bloody, corrupt, heinous criminal evil administration got away with what they did. (Even so, plz do not blame me alone!) The blood of our people - by that I mean our American soldiers who volunteered for duty - are on their hands. It was me and it was you who said they cared; who let the sick, disgusting, belchy corruption of the Bush administration flow unchecked. Never, ever again. No. I will march, yell, lay down in front of tanks or set myself on fire if I have to, to make a point. Getting good press is acceptable if it’s for a righteous cause, not merely to promote oneself. 

In other news I got rejected for a job with the Raucous Rezberry Riders, aka da Fuzz. I mean sheez, they really dropped the butt-taser on my non-hire. Hmm. Makes me wonder what are they hiding?

Oh! If anyone wants to address my column and my views, do plz email me. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT bother my editors. I am right here: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it It sho ain’t easy being Indian, but it’s not as hard when we have each other. Much Love! And do plz share your cheese. It won’t be too long before you need it and some mac too.


It ain’t easy being indian
Monday, February 09 2009
 
Written by Ricey Wild,
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I recently joined “E-SNAG” dot com. I found it on the website of News From Indian Country, a paper that just happens to pick up my column, “It ain’t easy being Indian.... etcetera”. Well, they don’t need my plug, however I can honestly attest that the organization has excellent taste in content and writers, not to mention talent and reliability.

Okay, so there I was, totally bored – it’s late and I adamantly refuse to do anything like housework if I can possibly help it. So I signed up, my first time doing such a thing, and I answered the questions openly, blatantly and truthfully, cuz after all, what have I got to lose?

Right then. A day or so later, I get an email from E-SNAG letting me know I had some possible matches, like 7 out of a 72,436.001 Indian guys registered. Hmm. I think that says more about them than it does about me! ( And you call yourselves Braves, huh?) Well, of all them hot frybreaders I got one ‘wink’ so far! I didn’t open the email until I had my face on and my hair did. You know how most menz are, so sweet and shallow at the same time! Anyhow....


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