It ain't easy being indian
Sunday, June 10 2012
Written by by Ricey Wild,
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For the past three months or so I've been out of the loop because I've been busy recovering from spinal fusion surgery. Yes, the operation hurt, it hurt a lot but I am now able to walk normally again…mostly. I had to get it you know. I had lost that swing in my step and my smiles had turned into grimaces. When my Unk Koon picked me up after my spending six days in the hospital he said that in the Old Days I would have just been put on an iceberg and left there to perish. Well, I don't recall that he said 'perish' precisely but his meaning was clear. Me? I just laughed as well as I could. It hurt.
A lot of things have been in the national news that I have been itching to write about, for one that crazy brownish, leathery, New Jersey white woman who was accused of putting her five-year-old kid in a tanning bed. I really hope yooz have seen her in the news. OMG! I like to think I don't shock easily but that woman's old cracked leather visage makes leather everywhere feel bad. I was also struck by the irony all over again, of how pale, pinkish persons earnestly tan and even pay to try and look as good and normal as us Indians and other brown people of the world, who are most of the world's population.
Now I have nothing against imitation; it is said that it is the highest form of flattery in the world as I well know. Meow! Just kidding, geez! It makes no sense to me that the same people who hate on and discriminate against Brown people are literally dyeing (get it?) to attain our lovely golden shades of humanity. Anyhoo-I really had to get that out. Did yooz see that over-baked Jersey creature's nose? Shudder! I see where they made an action figure type doll of her and named it 'tanorexic'. Hehehe.
Which brings me to a whole other subject: ahem!    Waayyyyy, like way, way back in the day, I was born in the Later Rezzosteric Age. Though I am not yet an elder I do hope one day to achieve that status by earning the honor, not just by getting old and meaner than a rabid rez dog who thinks the powers that be are trying to steal its' monthly…wait for it…bone. Ahem! For sure some of ya'll Indians know what I mean. Well anyway back to me. (Wink!)
I am unable to lie about my age because there are too many people whom I grew up with in the Big City who would call me out faster than a casino slot machine eats a $20 dollar bill. Anyone else who is curious my answer is; why do you need to know? The other thing is I'm amazed I made it this far, my moniker as Mz Wild is absolutely fitting, right Annie? I know how to have a good time. Call me?
I am waiting for the day when I can take the floor and start telling outrageous stories to little Indian kids, like "when I was young we didn't have fire". But I bet you anything they would come right back and say, "well, at least you had electricity." I want to share my good old days but I'm don't think our children could comprehend a whole world without cell phones, iphones, ipads and digital music. Now, when I and my peers were teens we had big boom boxes that we carried around so we could be cool. We were cool. Our music was still actual music played and performed by human beings who were incredibly talented and entertaining, how can anyone not know who Lionel Richie is? Now there's a Gaga who calls herself a lady and lip-synched concerts put on by pretty people who are admired for ridiculous, absurdly embarrassing behavior and they are called stars. Ick.
I guess I really am old…I'm gonna get out the VHS tapes and watch 80's movies like Purple Rain, Krush Groove and Flash Dance. I wanna play some old mixed tapes that don't contain lyrics that demean women, and maybe I'll do some break dancing too. Nah. I better not break dance, I just got fixed up.
I'm unsure of how the coming years will go on but the future looks bright. My beloved son is coming home to visit. Steve and I have so much to talk about, one thing being him begetting some grandchildren for me. Most of my friends are all ready grandparents and I know how special Gramma's and Grampa's are, because I have grown up in my lovely Gramma Rose's soft yet strong arms.
It's like my Unk Gene always said, "respect your elders, you rotten kid's!" Well…I made that up but it is something like he would say.

Users' Comments (2)
Posted by MJ Madrid, on 21-09-2012 15:32,
1. Loved your article!
I too am old, and likely MUCH older than you. I can remember a time when all I heard from elders was how much I should respect them as they had to walk to school in the snow, and the rain, and the ice and it was uphill both ways. 
Now, I'm starting to spout "oldisms" of my own, but I always try to keep them lighthearted. One thing is most often true in the poverty of southern NM, if you don't have a sense of humor you don't have anything. The ability to laugh in the midst of trouble, pain or distress is greatly underrated - thanks for making my day easier!
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Posted by Elizabeth A. Mays, on 25-06-2012 17:51,
2. It Ain't Easy Beng Indian
Ricey Wild I really enjoyed your article. You are very funny. I am sure I am not the first person to tell you that. Liked your new saying, "Listen to your elders, you rotten kids!" Thank you for the truths in your article about white people trying to acquire own skin color and then putting us down for it. I used to laugh to myself about white girls laying out on the lawn trying to tan in the hottest weather. They looked like a bunch of pilot whales beached on a green beach. I will keep reading!
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