It ain't easy being indian

Despite myself I have been following the wedding preparations for Prince William and the "commoner" Kate Middleton he is taking as his wife. I would have been proud to tell yooz that I ignored and disdained the insane publicity surrounding this event, that it's unimportant in the real world and who do the Windsor's think they are anyway? Royalty? Hah?
Then I remember my trip to London, England, and my not so secret fascination with historical English monarchy. Talk about scandalous! The Kings and Queens from back in the day put today's sleazy reality 'stars' to shame with their immorality, sexual exploits and criminal actions. And not just in the past, like rascally ole Henry VIII; look at Prince Charles, who married his mistress Camilla after both he and she divorced their hubbies. Look at Camilla, but not too long, she's hard on the eyes, he is too for that matter.

My first reaction to the wedding pair was I was happy for them, "How wonderful! How awesome that Wills got to marry his unrelated true love and not a 1st cousin like so many of his ancestors did". I also think that it is very progressive of Queen Elizabeth II to put her stamp of approval on the marriage and her support for the couple, however, it is my personal opinion she thinks she will be the last monarch anyway.
There is the romantic part of it too. I was taught from infancy that "someday my Prince will come" (Snow White). Sadly, I really believed that I would marry a Prince and he would shower me with diamonds, silks, a real palace and an army of servants who would attend to my every wish (no matter how outrageous) and do all the grubby work. All that was required of me was I be beautiful – as princesses are supposed to be – and dance gracefully.
As I got older I sort of got that my marrying a prince was highly improbable, mostly because they were in short supply in my town, nonexistent actually – except in my silly little girl's heart. The closest I ever got to a real prince was dancing at Prince's Paisley Park, swinging my long hair around looking all crazy.
I'm glad that it did come true for Kate but I see now the job requires a whole lot more than lolling about in luxury; she has to be responsible and do all that smiling and hand-shaking now. Just thinking about that makes me cringe, she can have it. Whew! (I wipe my brow off, thankful that I got out of that job).
Come to think about it I never got a pony either. (Note to self: schedule appointment with therapist. No wonder I turned out like this). Well, any royal event is news but I think the big news of Wills and Kate's marriage is her being a so-called commoner. The British are obsessed with the royal English bloodline, and collectively regard themselves and their culture as superior to all other peoples and cultures in the world.
Of course I think that worldview is despicable and being born American I was taught early to scorn the nepotism and arrogance of the so-called aristocrats, or what was the Revolutionary War for anyway? It was fought and won so tea prices and taxes would be lower. And so that "The People", specifically white male colonists, would be free. Everyone else who was not a white male colonist – too bad!
The reason I'm sharing all this is because most Indians are just as obsessively consumed by bloodlines. "Oh there she goes again! Jeez! Get a new topic" (I can hear you, you know). Well read on anyway, I acknowledge now that the British are not the only 'race' that is fixated on bloodlines, Indians are too. In the present day it's all about the terrible predicament the U.S. government put us in by instituting blood quantum values for tribal membership. American Indians are a tiny population who are literally an endangered species, there aren't many of us left. Our blood is valuable and important to us because it means we maintain our sovereign status and can continue to regulate our Nations.
I've been doing a lot of historical research; I'm on every day and I sift through the millions of records they have there. The information they have collected is astronomical, almost overwhelming, some of it is important, other stuff not so much. It is endlessly fascinating though – I see now that all people are curious where their ancestors came from and how they came to be whom and where they are.
I have to continue this column next month; I still have stuff to write about this subject that involves my direct ancestor Chief Mongosid, his clan and that…hay! Since I have a chief in my family tree I was born an Indian Princess, ennit? You may kiss my hand.
P.s. Happy birthday to my dearest Gramma Rose!