It Aint Easy being indian


Picture this: it’s the mid-80s, a summer day during former President Ray-Gun’s Star Wars administration. My mom Omi is walking back with her niece after visiting some mutual friends. One of those Indians gave my cuz’ a 5 pound block of commod cheese, which she carefully tucked under her arm. Omi became peckish, and she knew that her niece always carried a knife, so she asked her to ‘cut her a slice of that cheese’.  “What?!!” sez the neice, aghast, “I know you have cheese at home!” True story. 

Like I have written about many times prior to this I am a news junkie: I HAVE TO KNOW! Sadly though, these days one cannot run or hide from bad news. The recession, AIG, home foreclosures, global warming, pandemic diseases and everything miserable connected to it. What is one to do? Well, the way I see it, we will do what Native People have always done, which is not just endure – but survive and even thrive. Even since our uninvited, ungrateful guests showed up on Turtle Island.

I sure hope real estate opens up on Mars real quick-like. Go. Please. Ya’ll have done enough here, really. You ask me, we’ve been in a recession since oh, 1492 when a Halliburton employee of Dick Cheney’s, named Christopher Columbus accidentally ‘discovered’ the New World. I know. I do wish we had had the foresight to see and stop the attempted genocide and destruction that would happen to our Native Nations, but noooo! We had to go and be hospitable, offer the Pink People from across the sea a warm meal and a soft bed. But that’s how we Natives’ generally roll, if I may say so.

It’s in our human nature. Our culture and religion tells us that this is the right thing to do: to give unconditionally, to help as much as we can in the circumstances and to take care of one another. That’s how we got this far. (Dang! Why so serious Mz Wild? Ay) Hay! Serious times call for serious words.

Yeah I think so, but yanno what else? In spite of the misfortune and heartbreak I have experienced thus far in my life, I am a lucky woman. Me and the Mitz (my foofy, ferocious puppy) were commiserating the other day. The weather was all icky, I had no money, no gas and I can’t afford satellite so I could not watch some of my favorite TV shows. God I miss Sponge Bob and Animal Planet.

Anyhoo, I looked around and everyone in the house was comfortably warm, my cats’ Horus, CinderCat, Nefernefernefer, Mitzi the pup and Marty, the fly. We all had something to eat. We have each other. I was humbled beyond expression. I spoke to my Gramma Rose soon after, and we both sorta complained about the weather, money, etc. Then I told her what I told The Mitz: we are so very fortunate and need to recognize it!

Yanno what? I could so indulge in chocolate silken luxury, dive into sensual sensations and live an unapologetically mondo wealthy life. However, I can totally tell anyone who wants to listen, that obscene riches is not what our collective life experience is supposed to be about. At least that’s what I tell myself. Ask yerself? What will you leave and take with you when you go?

I know this is stupendously irrational and narcissistic, but somehow, I feel personally responsible that Cheney, Bush and their bloody, corrupt, heinous criminal evil administration got away with what they did. (Even so, plz do not blame me alone!) The blood of our people – by that I mean our American soldiers who volunteered for duty – are on their hands. It was me and it was you who said they cared; who let the sick, disgusting, belchy corruption of the Bush administration flow unchecked. Never, ever again. No. I will march, yell, lay down in front of tanks or set myself on fire if I have to, to make a point. Getting good press is acceptable if it’s for a righteous cause, not merely to promote oneself. 

In other news I got rejected for a job with the Raucous Rezberry Riders, aka da Fuzz. I mean sheez, they really dropped the butt-taser on my non-hire. Hmm. Makes me wonder what are they hiding?

Oh! If anyone wants to address my column and my views, do plz email me. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT bother my editors. I am right here: It sho ain’t easy being Indian, but it’s not as hard when we have each other. Much Love! And do plz share your cheese. It won’t be too long before you need it and some mac too.