It Ain’t Easy Being Indian – July 2019

photo of ricey wild

By Ricey Wild

Boozhoo! There is a serious topic I’ve been wanting to write about; Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (#MMIW). The reason I put it off is that I became anxious because I could have easily been one those women, my sisters. I like talking about my wild single days and how much fun I had but physical danger was always right there beneath the glam. I am one the lucky ones, one who got away.

When I was 19 and newly single I met a guy at a club downtown and got in his car with him later. He did not display any threatening behavior at first and to make a long story short, he did abduct me and tried to terrify me into submission. Turned out he was a pimp but I didn’t know that of course. That monster drove me back and forth on the freeway before I told him I had money at home and would give it to him if he brought me there. He did and I didn’t go back outside so he left.

Another monster I met back then told me he could get $3000 for me in Chicago. My blood still goes cold at that memory and I believe that my protector spirits rescued me from own youthful ignorance. Not many have had that grace and my heart, my soul, are wrenched and twisted by what is and has been happening since contact and colonialism. It began with Columbus’ atrocities and has been their modus operandi ever since.

The good news is that this horrific epidemic is finally being recognized and addressed by Deb Haaland D-NM and Sharice Davids D-KS. I’ve been following this genocidal tragedy for years now and I have felt so helpless and frustrated by the inaction and indifference from people who would have raised an outcry had the women been any other so-called race.

My Indigenous Sisters had families, lives, a purpose and then were treated as human waste. I mourn each and every one of them for their loss and for their families grief of not knowing where they are. Know that I pray for you all.

It isn’t only strangers who abuse and kill our women; too often it’s someone we are very intimate with who inflict trauma upon us. Even when or if we get out of that toxic relationship we are vulnerable to the same b.s. next time because our worth and self-esteem is fractured by the abuse. Because I’ve had negative relationships it has become easier for me to ‘read’ someone with ill intentions. I say listen to your instinct, all the vibes and above all act on it. Yooz can see love so why negate your own feelings because you don’t wanna hurt or judge anybody whom makes you uncomfortable? Yeah we have to be polite for culture’s sake but protect yourself and talk to your loved ones.

Love yourselves like I love you. I have no solutions or a facsimile of an answer to solve this ongoing nightmare except to spread awareness and give love away in buckets! Writing this took a lot out of me. I just want for ya’ll to stay safe.

On a different wave I’ve been trying to become more sociable and one event coming up is a train ride for Rezberry band members. I had this fantasy of being served in a dining car whilst watching the countryside flies by and I sip a pretend Cosmo. Nope. The menu clearly states that hot dogs and rice krispie bars will be provided and no one knows where the exact location we’re going to (and from).

I’m very suspicious because I read facebook stories and am a fan of conspiracy theories. I asked my Unk Koon “what if we are deported to Canada, Australia or Mexico for being Indigenous?” I mean, we may become just the next brownish batch to be put in concentration camps. Ya, I think like this. Don’t worry though, I already finished that possible scenario. The train will be stopped and boarded by Indigenous warriors who bring buffalo soup for the lot of us. Hot dogs?! Really? I don’t eat pork or whatever makes up the content of that grotesque alleged ‘food’.

Well anyway, my legs look like the end of Summer – not the beginning of it. They are both already spider-bit, bruised and scuffed up. Then I busted another canvas chair while I was sitting with my friend Lorri by my first bonfire at my home (IKR?) during Solstice and for my Gramma Rose.

I was trying to get out and ended up rolling toward the fire! Good thing I don’t have hair and had on a thick jean jacket on! *rolls eyes*

Chii miigwech Mi’iw!!!